Energy of Change

Home

Parenting Support

How Will EFT Help Me?

Kathy’s Story

Mission Statement

Articles & Newsletters

Upcoming Events
& Teleclasses

Contact



Claim your FREE SUPPORT PACKAGE now by entering your email below!
Email:

Constant Contact

In This Issue
Finding Your Stress Barometer

Using EFT on Your Stress Barometer

Give Your Kids The Perfect Gift

Quick Links

Quick Links
 
Get this new EFT book!

new
 
I'm excited to tell you about a new EFT book. The book's title is "Freedom at Your Fingertips: Get Rapid Physical & Emotional Relief with the Breakthrough System of Tapping."
In short, here's a snapshot of the book.
-- Provides a wealth of information on ways to use EFT for health and well-being
-- Foreword by Dr. Joseph Mercola
-- Chapters co-authored by World-Class EFT experts, including EFT Master Practitioners
-- Easy reading, question and answer format
-- 50 real life case stories
-- Includes a chapter with an overview of the basics of EFT
CLICK ON THE BOOK to learn more


Articles

Which Buttons Does Your Child Push?
Combining EFT With Visualization to End the Viscious Cycle (tap along)

The Damage is Already Done(EFT tap along)

 

The free Energy of Change monthly newsletter is available by signing up for the mailing list to the left. In the future, newsletter articles will be archived on this page.

ISSUE #4
December/2008

 Dear Kathy,
                 kathy                                                                    
Never mind peace on earth, what about some peace at home! There's nothing like the holidays and time with our families to make us wonder just how old we really are!

Perhaps there are those magical moments of childlike wonder that catch us by surprise and put a smile on our face and a warm feeling in our heart.

Often, however, the childlike feelings that come up around our families and holiday time are old familiar feelings of powerlessness, depression, sadness, anger, frustration, etc. Then we give ourselves the double whammy by telling ourselves that we should be feeling differently: more loving, more patient, happier, more grown up. I'm sure you could add to the list.

The bottom line is that the holidays are stressful...good stress, bad stress, it matters not. The fact is that when we stress, we regress. That's why we can be grown up with children of our own, but suddenly feel like a teenager the minute we walk into our parents' house for Thanksgiving dinner. It's also why our 10 year old might have a tantrum like a 2 year old in the middle of "fun" holiday activities.

In this month's newsletter you will find tools to help you master holiday stress, relax, enjoy your family and experience peace at home.

                                                 Warm regards,
                                                       Kathy Whitham

 
Finding Your Stress Barometer
Mastering Stress-Part 1
AWARENESS
 

Just like a meteorologist uses a barometer to predict an approaching storm, you have your own unique stress barometer that can help you  predict when you are becoming stressed out and disregulated.
 
Regulation: the ability to keep stress within your window of tolerance

The first key to mastering stress is learning to recognizing it. Here's how:
  1. Notice your behavior
  2. Tune in to your body
You often become aware that you are really stressed out when something gets your attention like: your back goes out; or you lose it with the kids; or you forget a really important appointment; or eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

This month, your challenge is to begin to notice what happens for you when you are stressed. This is your personal stress barometer. Notice both your behaviors and your body sensations when you are stressed. Start where you are, no matter where that is. At first you might not notice a connection until later. That's just fine. As your awareness increases you will be able to notice sooner and sooner when your barometer starts to rise. You will begin to hear your stress communicating to you through your behavior and your body. Over time, it won't have to yell as loud to get your attention! The better you become at noticing when your stress barometer is rising, the sooner you will be able to take measures to regulate yourself. The more regulated you are, the more present you can be to your life and your relationships.

Notice, don't judge! Perhaps you've never thought of your behavior as a communication of stress. We are conditioned to "should" all over ourselves and to see our behaviors as the problem. For example, "I should have more will power, I should be more patient, I shouldn't feel overwhelmed, etc." And then we try to address the behavior.

This is about as effective as trying to heal a broken leg by giving you a painkiller! Behaviors are like symptoms. They communicate a problem- stress. So let's start listening!

Notice your body when you are stressed.  Do your shoulders start closing in, or does your stomach hurt? Did you have a twinge in your back before it went into full blown spasm? And what happens to your breathing? Just notice and listen to your body as it communicates stress to you. No judging. No fixing.

AND WHEN YOU NOTICE YOUR BAROMETER RISING, BREATH! AND BREATH AGAIN! AND ONE MORE TIME! THEN NOTICE AGAIN.

The following article will give you a quick tip on how to use EFT to calm your stress.

Coming next month, Mastering Stress-Part 2, UNDERSTANDING

USING EFT ON YOUR STRESS BAROMETER

Tap on What You Notice

When you notice a behavior or a body sensation that makes you know your stress barometer is rising, that is the perfect time to use EFT!

When you acknowledge what you are really feeling, it becomes smaller and has less power. It's a part of you that just wants to be heard. When you try to override what you fee with what you "should" feel, you actually empower your real emotion and it has to get bigger to be heard.

Here's a simple tapping sequence to use with your stress barometer:
If you need intructions about the basic tapping sequence you can get them here.

First, Notice your behavior and how you feel about it or a body sensation. (Pick one specific thing to work on at a time)
Rate the beginning intensity on a scale of 1-10.

Then begin by tapping the Karate Chop point (KC) and saying:

Even though I feel/am doing (_________)
I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Even though I have this body sensation (name it)
I accept who I am, and how I feel.

Even though I have this behavior,
I love and accept myself anyway.

Please note: if you find it too hard to say, "I deeply and completely love and accept myself," try, "I am open to the possibility of loving and accepting myself." or even, " I'm OK anyway"

Then tap the following sequence three times:

EB (Eyebrow): This feeling in my body (describe it)
SE (Side of Eye): This stress feeling
UE (Under Eye): This behavior (name it)
UN (Under nose): This stress behavior and all the feelings that go with it
CH (Chin): I feel (name the emotion)
CB (Collar Bone): And I'm still OK
UA (Under Arm): This stress feeling in my body
TH (Top of Head): I have this stress feeling behavior and I'm still OK.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH


Rate the intensity of your emotion or sensation now. Do you notice any change in your breathing? What else do you notice? Repeat again if needed to feel relief.

As you calm your stress in the moment, you will gain clarity and be able to be more present and responsive to yourself and those around you.

GIVE YOUR KIDS THE PERFECT GIFT
YOU!

father and son

No matter how old they are, what our kids want more than any thing you could buy them is you. This holiday, give your kids a gift they will always remember. Make a special date with each one. Keep in mind it doesn't matter as much what you do with them as that you are with them.

I guarantee from my own experience, that these will be irreplaceable moments for both of you, and you may be surprised at how your children respond. Here are a few tips:
  1. Keep it simple: a distracting or overstimulating environment will increase both of your stress and make it difficult to connect with each other.
  2. Be free of an agenda: Let your child be however they are and just be there with them. Whether they're grumpy or happy, it doesn't matter. Let them know with your attitude that they don't have to do anything.
  3. Talk less: (this is a big one for me!) Yes, it is a little uncomfortable to not fill the quiet spaces, but I have been amazed over and over that these are the very spaces, when we allow them, that make room for our children to open up to us.
  4. Be in a calm frame of mind: Let that energy influence your time together. That means do whatever you need to do to decrease your stress before and during your "date." Take a hot bath, leave enough time to get ready, have a snack, get things handled at home or work so you are not distracted, etc.
  5. Remember to breath: often and deeply
  6. Have Fun!
I'd love to hear your stories. Please feel free to email them to me afterward.

Without relationship, nothing else matters! (Bryan Post)
I hope you enjoyed this month's newsletter. Please send me any questions you have about EFT and I'll address them in future newsletters. I would also love to hear about anything you wish to focus on in the Tapping Circle. And have a very peaceful holiday season!
 
Sincerely,
 
Kathy Whitham
Energy of Change